What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
