I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
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