Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
