Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize