I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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