No, you can still breathe under the balls.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
When did angry sex become our thing?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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