I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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