The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
