I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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