it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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