Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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