the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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