what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
