I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
