I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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