i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
