508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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