It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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