Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
