best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
