I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
