Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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