Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So apparently I’m into choking now
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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