i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
