I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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