sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
