I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
