actually, I'm a sock model
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
