when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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