Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
