Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
