then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you never un-have a 4some
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
