your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize