I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
MIDGETS
????
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
