11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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