yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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