i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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