That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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