im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
North Korea, Best Korea!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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