I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
