Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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