do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
