Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
