Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
