So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
