Ketchup is God's man juice
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize