the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
