If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
