I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
