But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
