Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
