He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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