you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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