I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
