Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
