i just wanna soil my oats bro
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
