I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
