its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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