Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
