he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
